Wow.

This article really is worth the read/click. It's entitled: Why does my son keep coming out to me?

My favourite part:

"Mom, I have something to tell you."
"What's that?"
"Mom, I'm gay."
I stare at my son, this good-looking specimen of humanity who is attempting to redefine his place in the world. This little boy who is almost a man but who is also currently lost on this path.
"Sweetie? How about this: How about if you come out to me if you are straight? I know you're gay because you told me, but you don't have to tell me again. Just tell me if you are straight or bisexual. OK? Because I'm going to love you no matter what you are."
He grins and nods. He lifts his hand into the air; we high-five. I guess I got it right that time.

Whether this young man turns out to be gay, bi, or not ----- he is very lucky to have such a wonderful family.

Fidel Castro, in a recent interview with the Mexican daily La Jornada (as reported by CNN):

Maybe he has been talking to his niece?

by qlinks.ca contributor, B.J. Caldwell

A statement regarding homosexuality now has over 100 orthodox Rabbis as signatories. Orthodox Judaism is a very conservative sect of Judaism that has held strong anti-LGBT views, and which, in part, still does. So, it was surprising and quite refreshing to see this. And it really is a "watershed moment" as described in the Guardian online article:

The statement declares:
"All human beings are created in the image of God and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect ... Embarrassing, harassing or demeaning someone with a homosexual orientation or same-sex attraction is a violation of Torah prohibitions that embody the deepest values of Judaism."

For a better understanding of the importance of this statement (it does seem tame on its surface) be sure and click through for the above article.  And in case you were wondering about the picture included --- Trembling Before G-d is an excellent documentary from a few years back about the lives of lesbian and gay Orthodox and Hassidic Jews. I highly recommend it! And after watching it you will gain an appreciation for the strength and resilience of this embattled minority and the welcome relief this statement must be for them. 

Recently in the U.S., the Supreme Court made a very controversial decision. In Citizens v. United, they decided that corporations should be treated as people and therefore they should be able to give unlimited amounts of their own corporate money to political candidates. While the ruling was widely panned, it is now the law in the U.S.

Most companies have been nervous about taking 'advantage' of this new 'right', but not Target (and not Best Buy). They each gave over $150,000 (US) to a far right wing, anti-gay and anti-worker candidate running for Governor so that he could buy more ads. While Target has a great history of treating their LGBT employees relatively well...this did not go over well.

It is about much more than them giving money to a right wing fear mongerer..it is about American corporations taking over the political process. They can easily spend more money than the average 'person'.  It really was a shocking ruling that elected representatives are looking at drafting work-around legislation to limit the effects of this intrusion into the political process. And the response to Target and Best Buy's actions have put a chill, I'm sure, into the hearts of many a CEO...... making them think twice of taking advantage of the Supreme Court Ruling.

And in response to Target's donation and the Citizen v. United decision, an ingenious group of (relatively young) protestors paid a visit to a local Target and put on a guerrilla theatrical protest/performance . They rewrote Depeche Mode's 'People are People' and brought along a mini-marching band.......it really is a must watch! (It looks as if they are part of moveon.org's campaign)

by B.J. Caldwell, Qlinks contributor

I hope Fred Phelps hasn't learned his lesson: don't protest comedians, artists, and geeks --- they can be wickedly creative. At the most recent Comic-Con , Fred Phelps and his gang of haters from the Westboro Baptist Church (you know, the God Hates Fags group) were met with a brilliant counter-protest involving robots, magical anime girls, Trekkies, Jedi and...kittens? Some of them are over the top satire, others are sincere, and brought together: magic.

This really made me laugh....

It's sort of nice knowing that the geeks are on our side. I feel very comforted.

Just finished watching the movie, Were the World Mine, by director Tom Gustafson. Part musical, part Shakespeare, part fantasy. Lots of surprise guest stars. Very different, and quite refreshing. Beautiful imagery and very creative.....what if you had a potion that could make someone love you.....or turn a whole town queer. Quite an interesting way to deal with homophobes! If you can find it, I say rent it. I rented it through Rogers Video Direct (mail a movie program). Not sure how widely it is available.

Millions of Americans (in certain U.S. states) can still be fired simply for being gay or transgender.

The relatively new and very direct-action group GetEQUAL took to the usually non-politically orientated city of Nevada to protest Senator Harry Reid (Democrat and Senate Majority Leader). Reid had promised on a few prior occasions to bring the Employment Non Discrimination Act to a vote in the Senate, but has since not come through with his promise. Now, to be sure, Reid is a very progressive politician and a friend to the queer community. So, for him to be so publicly protested says something. With U.S. mid-term elections coming up in November and a possible change in the makeup of both House and Senate, GetEQUAL is concerned. With a visible lack in leadership (or serious lobbying effort)  from some of the big U.S. national queer groups, they feel direct action is required to bring awareness to the issue and essentially to ask that the politicians keep their promises. Again, this is for basic civil liberties (ie. no one can fire them just for being queer). Astounding. Here is a map of the current laws with respect to sexual orientation and gender identity in the U.S.

Quebec outlawed discrimination based on sexual orientation in 1977 in both public and private affairs becoming the first jurisdiction (larger than a city or county) in the world to do so. The same year the Canadian Immigration Act was amended to remove the ban on "homosexual men" as immigrants. When our Constitution was repatriated in 1982 the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms was added. While it did not explicitly list sexual orientation under the equality clause (Section 15) it was meant to allow the Courts to decide the grounds with which to include (wouldn't it have been easier to just add those 18 letters then?) And in 1995, the Supreme Court of Canada finally did rule that "sexual orientation" should be read into Section 15 (duh?).

The U.S. has seriously fallen behind the world in regards to providing all its citizens with basic civil liberties. Argentina has also recently added itself to the growing list of countries which allow both lesbians and gays to enter into government recognized marriages. For a list of global progress on the marriage front:

Reuters reported that on Friday, Iceland's parliament voted 49-0 approving gay marriage. Iceland now joins Canada, Belgium, Sweden, South Africa, the Netherlands, Spain and most recently, Portugal (the Marriage-8, or M-8). This includes only states which have enacted national same-sex marriage laws.

Iceland has always been a very progressive nation. It decriminalized homosexuality in the 1940's, widened it's registered partnership law to include same-sex partners in 1996, and gave same-sex couples the same parenting rights/responsibilities and adoption rights as straight couples in 2006. Oh, and did I mention they were the first state to elect an openly queer head of state (of the modern era) when hugely popular and long-time politician Johanna "My Time will Come" Sigurdardottir was elected prime minister by her newly formed party in 2009. Also in evidence is the ease with which the bill passed --- no major opposition, even from religious groups? no votes cast against?

The decision by Parliament also stops the government from registering civil relationships all together. The only recognized institution will be marriage --- for both opposite and same sex couples. It also states: "ministers will always be free to perform (gay) marriage ceremonies, but never obliged to." That probably partly explains the lack of religious objections ---- though similar clauses in other state's proposed legislation haven't stopped mainstream religious groups from creating fake panic over this particular issue. Iceland's Protestant church is in the process of deliberating on the new legislation. 91 of the 125 attendees of the national synod supported the bill, but the minority against forced it through more 'regulatory' hoops (another committee). Deliberations are still in progress, but it is now a bit of a moot point as the bill passed without their endorsment. But 91 is an impressive number!

So, the M-8 has become the M-9. Any guesses on when it becomes the M-195?

by B.J. Caldwell, HIV/STI Prevention and Outreach Educator, AIDS Committee of Guelph

(crossposted on the AIDS Committee's Blog)

Scientists think they have found a 30,000 year old sex toy. Also seemingly used to light fires (with flint) its formation leaves little doubt as to what it was also used for:

Now, the sexual health educator in me just has to point out the following:

- There is no flare at the base of this sex toy to prevent "losing it" inside of the body so it would get a zero safety rating from me.

-It would be difficult to effectively clean in between uses and the cracks in the stone would allow for things to get into hard to reach places. Cyberskin, glass, or siliscone are much better/safer options for making sex toys from

- And the thought of small pieces of gravel breaking off during use could definitely damage the mucosal lining of the vagina or rectum increasing the chance of acquiring a sexually transmitted infection should they be exposed....and not that condoms were around 30,000 years ago...but if they were, the stone could damage the latex.

-It also seems as if this sex toy was also used for purposes other than self-pleasure (lighting fires as is evidenced by the markings)....this is never a good idea. Sex toys should really be single-purpose and used exclusively for that purpose. For a variety of reasons!

So, all in all I would say that this particular sex toy would get a very bad safety rating! To learn more about the safest sex toys and how to care for them and prevent disease transmission, check out the following pdf (Sex Toy Stories: A User's Guide to HIV and STI Prevention)

Two drag queens from Australia (Joyce Maynge and Decoda Secret) recently organized a flash mob in Sydney Harbour. Priceless! It involves a show-down between each drag queen and her posse. It sort of reminds me of 'voguing'. If anyone isn't aware of it, there is a rich history involving queers and "voguing" (which Madonna made famous). A new form of dance that often involved competitions. If you can, check out the fascinating documentary Paris is Burning to learn more --- easily one of the best documentaries I've seen. A fascinating time in African-American queer history (RIP Willi Ninja and Octavia Saint Laurent)

OUTline is asking folks to fill out a survey. You could win a prize and everything!

Help your community and you could win $100 to spend in Downtown Guelph!*

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/outline2010

OUTline, the University of Guelph's resource and support service specializing in questions relating to sexual orientation and gender identity, is conducting a brief 5-minute survey to help improve its services. Your participation could win you a $100 gift certificate to spend at any Downtown Guelph business (except the LCBO). The survey is open to any resident of Guelph or Wellington County and will be available from March 22 until midnight, April 17, 2010. To take the survey, simply click the link above.

For more information about OUTline, visit us online at www.uoguelph.ca/~outline or e-mail the OUTline Coordinator at outline@uoguelph.ca.

Ricky Martin has come out of the closet in a statement on his official website:

For many years, there has been only one place where I am in touch with my emotions fearlessly and that's the stage. Being on stage fills my soul in many ways, almost completely. It's my vice. The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything. This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive. I don't ever want to stop feeling these emotions. But it is serenity that brings me to where I'm at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment. At this moment I'm feeling the same freedom I usually feel only on stage, without a doubt, I need to share.

Many people told me: "Ricky it's not important", "it's not worth it", "all the years you've worked and everything you've built will collapse", "many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature". Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.

If someone asked me today, "Ricky, what are you afraid of?" I would answer "the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war...child slavery, terrorism...the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith." But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.

These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed.

What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

Congratulations Ricky. The truth will set you free!

Here is a bloggers take on why Ricky Martin's coming out matters

For other ways to get involved, visit Qlinks.ca's Get Involved page

Xtra.ca has the story.

From an artcile in the NY POST:

Brooklyn Assemblyman Dov Hikind doesn't want gays, political prisoners, gypsies, the handicapped — or any other group of people persecuted and killed by the hundreds of thousands during the Holocaust — to be recognized at the city-owned Holocaust Memorial Park in Sheepshead Bay. Even though 5 million non-Jews were killed by the Nazis alongside the 6 million Jews, Hikind says that "to include these other groups diminishes their memory." Hikind's mother, who survived the prison camp at Auschwitz, was with him when he made his announcement. "These people are not in the same category as Jewish people with regards to the Holocaust," he said. "It is so vastly different. You cannot compare political prisoners with Jewish victims."

Shame on him. For more information about the persecution of queers by the Nazi's during the Holocaust, check this out.

In a bill, passed by the Alberta legislature, intended to enshrine gay rights in the Alberta Human Rights Code (Bill 44), a buried clause is causing controversy (and rightly so). Bill 44 was passed on Monday June 1, 2009 after a 7 hour debate that ended in the early morning. CBC reports:

A clause in the bill, which is an amendment to the province's human rights legislation, requires that school boards give parents written notice when controversial topics [sex, religion, or sexual orientation] are going to be covered in the curriculum. Parents can then ask for their child to be excluded from the discussion.

There will be no restrictions placed on casual classroom discussions that might arise about the topics....

But the buried clause had drawn objections from teachers, schools boards and human rights groups, who argued Bill 44 makes it possible for parents to file human rights complaints against teachers and school districts, creating a chill with regard to what is taught in the classroom.

Another direct Conservative attack on LGBTQ youth and their allies. What will this law do? Put up another barrier to discussing LGBTQ issues (as well as other topics) in the classroom and further marginalize Alberta's queer youth. This is a really embarassing move by the governing party in Alberta. It just goes to show you how off-base they really are.

Out On The Shelf's Out-rageous Garage Sale

Saturday June 13th 8am-1pm
Harcourt United Church - 87 Dean Avenue – rain or shine
 
Join OOTS on June 13th for the annual garage sale
Turn your trash into someone else's treasure! 
 
Donations Drop Off – Friday June 12th, 5-8pm
Do you have items around your house that you would like to see reused?

1. GATHER your reusable household items.
2. DROP the items off at Harcourt United Church (87 Dean ave) on Friday June 12th 2009 5-8pm.
3. SHOP on Saturday and find new treasures for fantastic deals!

Edge Magazine in Boston was the first to break the story of 60 Canadians living with HIV who were planning to attend the North American Housing and HIV/AIDS Research Summit in Washington D.C. who were denied entry into the U.S. The U.S. Congress has repealed the law that bans HIV positive travelers to the U.S. however, the repeal has not been translated into policy implemented by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The article can be found here.

For more information about the travel ban to the U.S. check out this past week's Xtra for an article (that went to print before the 60 people were barred from entry)

Diane Grant and her partner are organizing a Trans March to be held on Pride Weekend in Toronto. A recent article from xtra.ca discusses the March as well as the issues they have faced in putting the March together. It still is in the early stages of organizing (Update: It's official now!!!!) , but long overdue as far as I am concerned.

Date:	Friday, June 26, 2009
Time:	8:00pm - 8:30pm
Location:	Bloor and Church Street at 7pm meet.

For more info on how to get involved, check out the Facebook Group for the March:

The Fifth Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) is scheduled for publication by the American Psychiatric Association in 2012. It will be the first major revision of American diagnostic nomenclature for mental disorder since 1994, and the DSM-V will likely impact the lives, civil liberties and medical care of all gender variant people through the 2020s.

The current diagnostic categories of Gender Identity Disorder (GID) and Transvestic Fetishism (TF) in the current DSM have long raised concern within the transgender community. Those who are distressed by their physical sex characteristics or ascribed social gender roles need diagnostic nomenclature that supports the legitimacy of transition and access to medically necessary treatment. At the same time, this nomenclature should respect the gender identity and expression of gender variant children, adolescents and adults and not impose stigma of mental illness or sexual deviance on femininity, masculinity or gender diversity in themselves.

There are two prevailing views of gender diversity in North American psychiatry and psychology. The emerging view is affirming and accepting. The older view is punitive, judging difference as disorder, something to be ashamed of. The current diagnostic categories of Gender Identity Disorder and Transvestic Fetishism in the DSM-IV and revision IV-TR predominantly reflect the punitive view of gender diversity. They go so far as to disrespect transitioned adults and youth with inappropriate pronouns and gender terms in the diagnostic criteria and supporting text.

The transgender community has expressed growing concern that the work group for Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders in the DSM-V Task Force of the American Psychiatric Association is not sufficiently representative of newer, respectful attitudes toward gender diversity that are widely held by practitioners who work with gender variant adults and youth today. Many transgender advocates and care providers hope to see more balance in this work group, more inclusion of clinical approaches described by Dr. Diane Ehrensaft on National Public Radio, “If we allow people to unfold and give them the freedom to be who they really are, we engender health. And if we try and constrict it, or bend the twig, we engender poor mental health.”

There was a protest held at the APA's 2009 General Meeting this month. Below is the  a video of a speech by Madeline Deutsch, MD to the crowd of about 150 protestors outside the meeting in SanFrancisco. (The Dr. Zucker she references -- negatively-- in her speech several times is the Psychologist-in-Chief and Head of the Gender Identity Service in the Child, Youth, and Family Program of the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health . He is also a Professor with the Departments of Psychiatry and Psychology at the University of Toronto. He also bears a striking resemblance to the character in the editorial cartoon above who is closing the book.....)

The SanFrancisco Chronicle reports:

President Raul Castro's daughter led hundreds of Cuban gays in a street dance Saturday to draw attention to gay rights on the island.

Participants formed a carnival-style conga line around two city blocks to the beat of drums, accompanied by costumed stilt-walkers. Events also included educational panels and presentations for books, magazines and CDs about gay rights and sexual diversity.

"We're calling on the Cuban people to participate ... so that the revolution can be deeper and include all the needs of the human being," said Mariela Castro, an outspoken gay rights advocate who directs Cuba's officially sanctioned Sex Education Center.

The communist government discriminated against homosexuals - even sending some to work camps - in the early years of the 1959 revolution led by Mariela Castro's uncle, Fidel. But tolerance of homosexuality on the island has grown in recent years.

Cuba is not as queer-friendly as the above article indicates. Raul (Fidel's brother) and Mariela (his daughter, an MIT graduate) have long been supporters of gay rights. But the laws still stand --- gays cannot work for the government, cannot serve in the armed forces--not even under a don't ask don't tell policy--, cannot get married in ANY of the Cuban provinces or at the federal level, cannot adopt children, cannot be members of the Communist Party unless they cease to be gay, etc., etc., etc. Just 15 years ago, they were sent to work camps to "cure" them or their homosexuality. While things are improving, they have a long way to go.  Qlinkis.ca has posted on Mariela Castro's antihomophobia campaign

Here are some pictures of the event:

Here is a video of the event:

Uruguay's Deputy Defense Minister elaborated, " There were a series of rules...regarding the psycho-physical requirements (for entry into the armed forces) in which homosexuality was seen as a sexual identity disorder, and this is what is being repealed."

The following countries allow gays and lesbians to serve openly:

• Australia
• Bermuda
• Canada
• Germany
• Israel
• Italy
• The Netherlands
• Romania
• United Kingdom
• Switzerland
• Uruguay

The U.S. still has it's "Dont Ask Don't Tell Don't Harass" policy which Obama has promised to repeal, though his promise seems to be wavering lately. In Russia, those alleged to have "sexual identity problems" are to be drafted only during war time stating that "well adjusted homosexuals" are permitted to serve in a normal capacity". In Germany, tolerance towards all sexual orientations is considered to be part of the duty of military personnel and sexual relations (regardless of sexual orientation) are considered irrelevant if outside of "service time" (on the soldier's own time).

The details on Canada (from wikipedia.org):

In 1976, the Canadian Forces issued Canadian Forces Administrative Order (CFAO) 19-20, which allowed members suspected of being homosexual to be investigated and then subsequently released. This order was repealed in 1992, after a challenge by then CF Member Michelle Douglas, thereby allowing gay, lesbian and transgendered people to serve in the Canadian Forces free from harassment and discrimination.

A series of provincial and territorial Supreme Court decisions beginning in 2003 ruled in favour of the legality of gay marriage, and a national law to that effect was passed by Canada's parliament in 2005 by the Paul Martin Liberal government. In May 2005, Canada's first military gay wedding took place at Nova Scotia's Canadian Forces Base Greenwood. Officials described the ceremony as low-key but touching. A similar wedding has since taken place between two male Royal Canadian Mounted Police officers.

Today, the Canadian Forces recognizes same-sex marital and common-law unions, and affords them the same benefits offered to all married or common-law serving members.

During the 2008 Toronto Pride Parade, ten members of the Canadian Forces marched for the first time. One month later, twelve gay and straight members of the Canadian Forces marched in Vancouver's Pride Parade. Lt(N) Steven Churm said, "The message to the public is that the Canadian Forces is an employer of choice. We have employment opportunities that people can pursue, regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation. For our own members, they can be proud of what they're doing and also be proud of who they are."