How Homophobia and Heterosexism Hurt LBGTQ People
For those not yet · May feel the necessity to lie and pretend that you are something that you are not.
· Can only be affectionate with a loved one when you feel it is “safe”.
· Have to pretend the person that you’re with is not your lover.
· Have people try to “fix you up” with members of the opposite sex.
· Feel forced to adopt a gender presentation that you are not comfortable with.
· Unsolicited advice such as “you’ll never catch a man/woman if you act/dress like
that.”
· Assumptions that you and everyone else are heterosexual.
· Being around people who are free to express their sexuality, while having to hide
your own.
· Having a hard time finding/meeting other LBGTQ people.
· Thinking you are the only one.
· Thinking something is wrong with you.
· Feeling that you don’t fit in or belong
· Not being able to get close to another person because of this “secret”.
· Feeling panic about being found out, and feeling like a coward or a dishonest
person.
For those coming out, the possibility and fear of:
· Rejection from friends, family and/or co-workers.
· Rejection of your friends or your lovers.
· Rejection of other things that are important to you – your work, interests, etc.
· People refusing to accept your gender identity or sexual orientation.
· Having to deal with fear and anger toward you from others, including those who
have been your best supporters on everything else.
· Losing your job, your living space or financial supports.
· Getting lower grades or poorer performance evaluations than you think you
deserve and wondering if your LBGTQ identity is why.
· Subtle rejection or distance from people and having to wonder the cause.
For those who are already out:
· Dealing with heterosexism, transphobia and homophobia.
· Dealing with put-downs, slurs, jokes, and being talked about or stared at by
others.
· Not getting jobs nor into groups and organizations.
· Being made into a special case – a “good” or “different” LBGTQ person.
· Any affection you show towards a same-sex person may be seen as a sexual
“come on”.
· Encountering verbal or physical abuse/violence against you by total strangers just
because of whom you are.
· Encountering emotional abuse in the form of graffiti, jokes and defaced posters